A muse or two

A magazine popped through my letterbox today, and adorning the front cover was a picture of a retired gentleman. From this point I will refer to him as the model.

The assumption that he was retired was an easy one to make seeing as the magazine was sent to me from my late husband’s pension company, and featured a subtitle of ‘Re-think Retirement.’

The insurance/pension company has new owners and today was the first time I’ve received a magazine.

Back to the cover – The model wore a woolly pull on hat, scarf and thick top coat. My next assumption was that the photo of the model must have been taken in winter, unless the writer assumes that once we are retired we all dress extra warm in spring!

The model also wore a camera slung around his neck, nothing wrong with that, I myself hardly go anywhere without my camera dangling from my neck.

Another thing that struck me was that the model was not attractive, and I couldn’t help thinking that if the magazine had been directed at a younger generation, the model here would have been much easier on the eye than this one.

Anyway, I poured a cup of tea and seated myself on my new rocking bench on the patio and proceeded to flick through the magazine. (more about the bench later)

One of the articles commiserated about the way retirees may feel, “Perhaps some of you are lonely and miss the workplace and camaraderie.” It then advised taking up a hobby.

It doesn’t mean you need to take up something drastic such as knitting or hiking!”  At this point I became amused, because it’s not often I read the words hiking and knitting in the same sentence, and what’s wrong with knitting anyway?

Next, it advised becoming a volunteer or helping out at a school, the PTA, or even becoming a school governor. Well, I’ve already done all that and I’m not about to start again.

When I retired from school, our local vicar suggested I use my computer skills/knowledge and continue to teach, but instead of children I should focus on seniors. I can only guess at the look of absolute horror that must have passed across my face.

Teaching seniors computing, was she mad? I was once given the task of staff training, bringing the teaching assistants’ computer skills up-to-date. All I’ll say is give me a class of thirty children any day!

The final piece of advice from the magazine was “Invite your friends around for a cup of tea, it could be just what the doctor ordered!” How patronising, and an assumption that those of us of a certain age no longer socialise!

Going back to my new rocking bench – Last week during one of my many visits to the local garden centre, I happened across an older gentleman examining the rocking bench that I’d recently purchased.

the New bench

I could have bought a single chair but because I’m me I like to share!

Now because I’m friendly and helpful, I flashed my usual beaming smile and said, “I purchased this last week and it’s much easier to put together than it looks.” He gave me a steely stare and said “My wife’s over there!”

Ooh this is awkward I thought to myself and I can only imagine he believed I was attempting to pick him up, unless of course, his wife possesses superior DIY skills to his and was the one I should have been addressing!

My daughter who was patiently waiting for me to cease hitting on old men, was quite amused by this, and as we walked away remarked  “I hope you told him ‘In your dreams mate!

© SueW-nansfarm.net May 2018 In response to the word-prompt Awkward

22 thoughts on “A muse or two

  1. gc

    Humorous article darling. I love the fact that the old gent was assuming a woman of your style , grace and impeccable taste would be attempting to “pick up” this obviously hen pecked hubby. I am sure he was flattering his own ego by issuing such a remark.

    I wonder if his hearing aid was actually a homing device and microphone apparatus which would allow his wife to find him whenever a well intentioned female tries to assist him in the marketplace.

    Just remember love you are always in my dreams and that is all that really matters anyways. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I loved this! And the rocking bench…at the Botanical Gardens we sat in a porch swing for a while, lovely. I’d like to have one of my own. So you get accused of picking up men in shops too? More power to you!☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. emn

    Love your bench and your post. The marketing directed at the 55+ gang can be pretty funny. I get a kick out of hiking and knitting…you are so right about the likelihood of using them in the same sentence.

    Can’t keep from snickering still about bench fellow. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thank you Ethel. Hiking and knitting, so funny. I think Peter was probably right about the age of the writer. Like you say anyone over the age of 55, which I passed long ago, is no longer expected to have fun or as they say these days a ‘life’. 🙂

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  4. Your rocking bench looks lovely, and definitely built for two aging retirees, who actually like to have pleasant conversations together… Yep “In your dreams” you grumpy man….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Ivor. The bench was an impulse buy and it was only when ordering and paying that I realised it was flat packed. A couple of days later I went off on one of my lakeside walks and when I returned it was sitting there outside the kitchen doors The son-in-law who lives next door used the words “it was very quick to put together, easier than it looks!” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. That is the most uncomfortable looking chair I’ve ever laid eyes on, how on earth can a retiree be expected to doze off/sleep on that? 😈

    Perhaps had you have glared at the silly old sod you might have got a better response, or hit him over the head with your umbrella, [erhaps you should try that if you ever meet up with him again.:evil:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Do you know Brian, I don’t think I’ve ever sat on a comfortable garden bench, at least this one has a soft cushion, and lets face it rocking is really quite soothing and calming.

      I doubt if I’ll meet him again, it turned out he was a day trip from the coast. Funny that, because I never thought of day trippers coming my way it’s usually the other way around. 😎

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