Nature or Nurture?

Recently, I read that we mothers mess with our children’s heads. By coincidence, in the same week during a conversation with a friend,  a comment was made that a child she knew appeared to have no opinions of her own, each thought and idea were those of the mother. This got me thinking about the age old question,  Nature or Nurture? Are our children the way they are because of us or in spite of us?

So do we mess with our children’s heads?  Let’s assume we do, however, I’d like to think that most of us do it in the nicest possible way.  We’re the homemakers, the carers, we guide our children, teach them and show them the way and inevitably, to a certain extent, that is going to be our way.

I like to think I got the balance right, but maybe my kids will disagree. I encouraged but never pushed, and sadly I’ve seen the consequences of those whose parents did.

Somewhere along the journey our offspring begin to follow their own paths and develop minds of their own , which is something we need to encourage and allow, but with the best of intentions we try to steer them from those influences we wish them to avoid. That may be the films they watch, the electronic games they play or perhaps a child at school.

My children (now grown up) are as diverse in personalities as they are in looks. But gaze a little closer and the family resemblance is there for all to see. Most families have a strong one, the pathfinder, the one born to be the leader while the others follow on and my kids are no different.

My children are bright and clever in lots of different ways; some are focused and more determined than the others.  Each of them is kind, generous, caring and thoughtful and each of them has traits that make me feel proud.

Did I mess with their heads? Absolutely I did!

2 thoughts on “Nature or Nurture?

  1. You use the words guide, and steer, and that is exactly what we parents need to have done, and to continue doing. A little nudge on the tiller every now and then, if required, but still allowing them to make their own way, and their own mistakes. It is very satisfying when we get it right!

    Liked by 1 person

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